How to break through creative blocks
To create means to "bring something into existence.” I started this blog because there is a creative part in me that longs to do just that. More specifically, that part longs to bring things into existence that invites others into a deeper level of vulnerable connection with themselves.
Brining things into existence that have the potential to impact someone, positively or negatively, is hard because I have many other parts that get in the way of that process happening smoothly. For now let’s call these my creative blocks.
Here’s how they tend to show up for me. They are very critical of thoughts and ideas. They remind me that I won’t be able to speak to where each person is at. They are fearful that I won’t have anything good to say or that I may say something “wrong.” They remind me how risky it is to have a voice - that it might be better off not to say anything. They are worried I won’t get it right the first time. They fear I could upset someone - or worse, that my intention would be misinterpreted. They tell me that I can invite others into vulnerability but that I need to hold my vulnerability back because I could get hurt.
Historically, I have dealt with these parts in two different ways. Spoiler alert - neither of them worked! But, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess I’m not the only one who responds to creative blocks these ways. Here’s how it would go:
Creativity:
Inspiration/idea > followed by excitement/energy > followed by fear and/or shame = excitement snuffed, idea shut down, disconnection from Self. Resulting in lack of action.
Inspiration/idea > followed by excitement/energy > followed by fear and/or shame = energy spent trying to ignore those feelings and creating anyway. Resulting in burnout, lack of boundaries, and disconnection from Self. aka - creating things that aren’t authentic to who I am.
Looking just at those two, you might think that option two is better than option one because it at least lead to action. I used to think that too. Until, one day I noticed a similar theme in my counseling practice and that I wasn’t encouraging option one or two to my clients when it came to their lives. In fact, we were creating a whole new option together. Actually, let’s call them equations.
Most of the people I work with come into my office having primarily lived out one of the two equations until they realized they weren’t working. Let me pair it down even more to how it shows up in my clients * while recognizing this is super simplistic and there is a lot more nuance to each person and way of being.*
Personal:
Something happens (a trigger or cue) > it’s followed by feelings (most of which are uncomfortable or connected to some form of trauma) = self protection in the form of shut down, leaving needs off the table, hiding. Resulting in lack of action (whether with another person or interpersonally).
Something happens (a trigger or cue) > it’s followed by feelings (most of which are uncomfortable or connected to some form of trauma) = self protection in the form of energy spent trying to ignore those feelings and powering through. Resulting in burnout, lack of boundaries, disconnection from Self.
Maybe these equations “worked” for a while, until they didn’t anymore. I personally liked equation one. If you know anything about the Enneagram, I’m a 9 so obviously equation one was safer for me.
So, together we would come up with a whole new equation. Here’s a rough draft:
Something happens (a trigger or cue) > it’s followed by feelings (most of which are uncomfortable or connected to some form of trauma) = self protection (in whatever form) = curiosity and compassion towards those protections. Engaging the stories they carry and then taking grounded healthy action.
Let me to break down what “engaging the stories they carry” means, to me anyway. It’s developing a relationship with these parts of ourselves rather than letting them completely have the drivers seat or ignoring them. It’s getting curious and listening to the fears they have if they were to stop doing their job. It’s holding space for the pain that younger versions of me endured when those fears came true.
When I have that curious and compassionate posture, I’m able to get to the roots of why those parts even exist. They are there for a reason. They came to be as a result of painful circumstances that I wasn’t able to work through at the time. To put it this way - They protected me from harm.
The difference now is, they don’t have to keep working so hard. Things are different now. I have healthy resources. I am able to hold space for disappointment. I can be reminded of what is true rather than being bound by a lie.
So, back to the creative blocks. What if I, we, used an equation like this:
Inspiration/idea > followed by excitement/energy > followed by fear and/or shame (or some other block) > curiosity and compassion towards those blocks, engaging the stories they cary, then creating out of an authentic Self led place.
It works for me. Hopefully it may work for you. I started this blog with an idea/inspiration. I get excited when I sit down to write. Today, when I sat down to start this letter, the fear and shame was there. Some days it isn’t, but today it was.
At first, I subconsciously chose equation #2. I decided to create this blog and felt that I needed to write something. So, I don’t have time for this fear. I need to power through and just write. I tried that, and for me, it doesn’t work. It lead to starting, getting stuck, then starting over 4 times. Maybe something good would’ve come out of it, but I could tell I was forcing it. It wasn’t congruent with where I was at.
So I paused. I took some deep breaths and let my shoulders drop. I tuned into my body and was curious about what was happening. I stepped away from the computer for a moment and listened to some music that helps me slow down and get out of my head. I listened to the stories that my critical parts were carrying. I listened to the fears of what “could happen” if I write something and put it out there. And, I reminded them of what is true now.
Then I came back and just ended up writing about that process itself. Because that’s where I was at. It was the most authentic thing I could create. That I could “bring into existence.” Because it was already existing in me, I just was ignoring it.
Maybe you get something out of this. Hopefully you do. If anything, may you be curious and compassionate with yourself next time you hit a block. Whether a creative block or relational one. Maybe the block is there for an important reason. And maybe, just maybe, listening to it will be just the thing that allows you to move forward.